Jimmy McNeal

 
 

Aug 28, 2017

She's on her way!

Y'all, my wife is having our baby within the next 24hrs. I repeat, my wife is having our baby in the next 24hrs.

What the heck....

I'm feeling all the emotions and having all the thoughts. Excitement, fear of the unknown, joy, doing my part in the delivery room, do I really remember how to swaddle, bottles, pumps, did i forget something at the house, sleep, bath, did I shower today, pacifiers, is this really happening, baby clothes, bows, and so much more running through my brain today. I've watched the clock tick away as this day closes in on what will be a life changing night for Staci and I. 6pm we'll go in for the induction, who knows how long the delivery will be, but I'm guessing that by tomorrow night or early Wed. morning I'll be holding Mahayla Rae McNeal for the very first time! 

I've prayed for this little girl, honestly, since our last miscarriage back in July of 2016. Once we lost our 2nd baby that year I wondered if God would bless us with anymore biological kids and simply prayed that He would. I can't tell you how happy Staci and I were when she showed me a positive test on New Years Day! Appointment after fearful appointment I prayed we would just hear and see a heartbeat for our little baby. I'm humbled to write today because this road hasn't been easy, but Lamentations tells me this....

"...But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion", says my soul, "therefore I will hope in Him."" - Lamentations 3:21-24

I read this yesterday and even now, I sit in awe of the way God has chosen to love us in this season of life. He is my portion and all that I truly need, but for some reason He has chosen to give us another life to steward and I'm grateful and thankful. I know for a fact I see His mercy played out in every breath, but how sweet it will be to see my daughter take her first. Thank you Lord. 

I know I'm not promised perfect health for both of my girls. Wait, did I just write, my girls...y'all, I'm having "a girl". What the heck!? Ok, deep breath, alright. I know there are several things that can happen within the next 36 - 3 trillion hrs, but right now I'm just going to be thankful. I thank God for the grace to be able to write again. I thank Him for the boldness to be honest, for the blessing of seeing my baby girl on a sonogram, the joy and anticipation of holding her hand, the joy and pains of childbirth, Factor 5, Dr. Garza, my wife being ready to get this baby out of her, me laughing at her seriousness but not laughing, our last family day as a 3 person household, and the honor and privilege I have to steward another little life that's not my own. I praise God from whom all blessings flow, even the ones that don't look like blessings in the moment. This day has been a long time coming. A song by Hillsong United keeps playing in my ears because it was the song that I listened to over and over again when we lost our Hattie Mae and Ezra Lee last year through miscarriage.

Even when my strength is lost I'll praise you
Even when I have no song I'll praise you
Even when it's hard to find the words, louder then I'll sing your praise...
Even when the morning comes I'll praise you
Even when the fight is won I'll praise you
Even when my time on earth is done, LOUDER THEN I'LL SING YOUR PRAISE

"Even when it hurst" - Hillsong United

So no matter what comes my way, I have learned to trust God. I don't know what tonight holds, but when there's joy, excitement, tears of hope, pain, even when it hurts, I'll trust you, I will always sing your praise Lord.

Y'all, I'm about to have a baby girl! I can't tell you how happy I am right now. I'm full of mixed emotions, but they all sit under the shadow of Joy today! I praise God for this joy and His faithfulness to being the God He says He is. I don't deserve anything He gives Staci and I, but like you, hopefully no matter the stage or season of life, we can be thankful. 

Nothin' but love, 

Jimmy

 


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